Mummy Diary - Day 1 - "Introducing Elizabeth who arrived at 2.15am this morning. 3.08kg, 53cm long and extremely beautiful."
Mummy Diary - Day 11 - "Me: unshowered, mastitis, covered in vomit and completely in love; Elizabeth: putting on weight, eating, sleeping, pooing, vomiting and completely unconcerned by the pathetic state of her mother."
Mummy Diary - Day 13 - "Me: managed to squeeze my rings back onto my finger. Have not managed to squeeze my backside back into my jeans. Questioning whether it is socially acceptable to go for a walk with cabbage leaves in my bra; Elizabeth: thought it would be fun to squirt poo at Mummy during the 3am nappy change. Who knew that was possible?"
Mummy Diary - Day 22 - "Me: sad because my Mummy has gone home. Wondering how something so small can snore like a truck driver and wishing she would do it in her bed. Knowing I've made too many calls/visits to the GP when I tell the receptionist it's the crazy woman with the newborn and she says 'Ah yes, see you on Monday'; Elizabeth: why would I sleep in my bed when I can get cuddles if I protest enough?!"
Mummy Diary - Day 26 - "Me: made it to the Chief's farewell only to spend most of my time sitting outside Banco Court feeding a hungry little monster; Elizabeth: met the Chief and the Governor and put on my best 'I'm an angel' face. Couldn't understand why Mummy took me outside when I started making grunting noises."
Mummy Diary - Day 28 - "Manufacturers clearly have no faith in the brain function of new mums. First instruction in the baby monitor book, 'Never immerse any part of the baby monitor in water or any other liquid.' No sh*t!!"
Mummy Diary - Day 33 - "You can not truly understand what your mother did for you until you have a child of your own. I love you Mum."
Mummy Diary - Day 35 - "Me: Most of you know how much I hate noisy eaters and mouth noises. Elizabeth is the noisiest eater in the world and it is adorable; Elizabeth: I know, it's because I'm gorgeous!!"
Mummy Diary - Day 37 - "I understand cutting off my breast will probably be more painful than the world of hurt I'm in right now, but it still seems like a viable option!"
Mummy Diary - Day 41 - "Watching Elizabeth watch her hand. She's still not quite sure what it is or where it came from."
Mummy Diary - Day 42 - "Not looking forward to taking Elizabeth for her first immunisations this afternoon."
Mummy Diary - Day 43 - "Thank you to my wonderful mother in law for taking Elizabeth for a walk so I could have a nap this afternoon after no sleep last night."
Mummy Diary - Day 44 - "Poonami (n.) = a wave of poo that blasts everything in its path, often without warning and is disproportionally large compared to the infant it is expelled from."
Mummy Diary - Day 51 - "Me: for some reason five minutes spent trying to settle a crying baby feels a lot more like 55; Elizabeth: I think Mummy is a bit crazy. Once she thinks she's settled me she crawls out of my room like a commando. Weirdo!"
Mummy Diary - Day 53 - "Just wants to spend all day snuggled up in bed with my little girl."
Mummy Diary - Day 55 - "Just squeezed my backside into my pre-Elizabeth jeans. They may be a bit tighter than is strictly necessary but I got them on!!"
Mummy Diary - Day 56 - "Can't believe our little girl is eight weeks old today. I'm not sure I remember life before her!"
Mummy Diary - Day 67 - "Trying to come to terms with the Pavlik Harness."
Mummy Diary - Day 69 - "Poonami 1 : Pavlik 0."
Mummy diary - Day 75 - "Me: Our daughter is definitely her father's child. Her greeting to me this morning - an enormous pop and a huge smile; Elizabeth: but it was funny Mummy and it didn't smell!"