Wednesday, 15 February 2012

NINO: Nine in, nine out.

I'm not sure why, BabyB-B, but I was so excited when you reached your NINO.  To me it seemed such a fun concept to celebrate your being Earth side for as long as you had been inside.  It made me reflect on the ups and downs of my pregnancy, your birth and these first nine months of your life.

Finding out I was pregnant with you was one of the most thrilling moments of my life.  It was with nervous anticipation that I said to your father, "Guess what?!".  He seemed equally nervous when he replied, "You're pregnant." We hugged and both laughed.  We couldn't be happier.  I spent my pregnancy terrified something would happen to you.  This was not helped when I experienced some early bleeding and resorted to "Dr Google" for a diagnosis when an early dating ultrasound was inconclusive.  A few weeks later a viable pregnancy was confirmed and I vowed never to consult Dr Google again!!

I willed you to be safe in the confines of my body.  I was strangely relieved when struck with the urge to vomit (often day and night) as each wave of nausea confirmed in my mind my pregnancy.  The morning sickness eventually got old and I drew comfort from feeling you move inside me:  first flutters and then full blown feisty kicks and punches!  Towards the end of my pregnancy I would play with you - gently pushing your foot when it jutted out and waiting for you to push my hand back.

At 41 weeks I was definitely ready to meet you.  I'm not a patient person at the best of times and having found out I was pregnant at four weeks it seemed like I had been pregnant for an extremely long time.  I was dismayed when Michelle, the midwife I had seen for most of my pregnancy, told me that my cervix was closed tight and there was little chance of anything happening any time soon.  I was booked in to be induced the following week. As if knowing how much I wanted to avoid an induction you decided it was time to come, in your own time, and after some 27 hours of active labour you made your entry to the world to my favourite Tibetan incantations.

I was ill prepared for the wave of feelings that would wash over me when you were born.  Overwhelmed is the word that probably best describes it.  I was overwhelmed by the responsibility, the enourmity, and, most of all, the love.  Nobody can understand the strength of a mother's love until they themselves become a mother.  It is a love that grows and deepens daily.

Every day over the last nine months my love for you has grown.  Each day you light up our lives and fill our hearts with joy.  Happy NINO baby girl xxx
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